Good Gifts
by daniebagel
Summary: Sad... about Hermione's relationshp with her mother...


The title may not make sense at first, but it will @ the end.  
  
  
It was a dreary November first. Since Harry was down in the dumps, it being the day after his parents' death (they died on Halloween, but he couldn't bring himself to be sad on Halloween, so he was always depressed the next day.) the famous trio was sitting by the large window, looking out.  
  
"What's your first memory of your parents?" Harry asked.  
  
Ron thought for a minute. "I guess I remember her always punishing my older brothers when they played tricks on me, and singing me to sleep. Of course, I later found out that she magically modified her voice to make it sound soothing... and well, generally, good." He laughed.  
  
Hermione sighed. "I remember, I was really little, and me and my mum were standing on this really high cliff, a grassy plateau. It was a gorgeous day... nothing but blue skies, and the cliff, it looked out over the ocean, the waves crashing against rock two hundred feet below. It was the most beautiful place on earth. My mother always went there. I would go there with her and play ring around the rosy with her, in a patch of wild flowers." He eyes were closed, and she was smiling, like she could still smell the fresh sea air.  
  
"Wow. How can you remember that... so vividly?"  
  
"I don't know. As far as I know, my mother still goes there... to think. But she never takes me with her anymore."  
  
A tear slid down her cheek.  
  
"Hermi, are you okay?" asked Harry. "You look kind of-"  
  
"It's nothing!" she said right a way. "I just... I have to finish some work."  
  
She rushed up the stairs to the dormitory.  
  
"Herm, we didn't get any homework!" called Ron after her, but she had already closed herself in the dormitory.  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other puzzled.  
  
"She's been acting a bit weird since school started. A little, I don't know, distant."  
  
"Yeah, I just can't think why."  
  
"Let's ask Parvati and Lav, they're her roommates, maybe they'll know."  
  
They walked over to the two girls and Ron draped his arms over his girlfriend's shoulder.  
  
"Every time you do that, you want something," she said, looking up at him.  
  
"Well, we do want something," said Harry, mostly addressing Parvati, because Ron and Lavender were a wrapped up...  
  
"Do you know anything about Hermione?" he asked. "She's been acting kind of strange lately. Distant."  
  
"Yeah" said Ron, sitting down on the couch. "We were talking a minute ago, and she just ran off on us, on the brink of tears."  
  
Lavender and Parvati looked at each other.  
  
"Well, we weren't supposed to tell anybody, but-" Lavender began.  
  
"What were you guys talking about when she ran off?" asked Parvati curiously.  
  
"Well, our families. Harry asked what our earliest memories of them are, and Hermione mentioned her mother, and her favorite place to think. Then she said her mother didn't take her there anymore."  
  
"Ah" said the two girls in unison.   
  
"We'll tell you" whispered Lavender, "but please don't say we did. Her mother... well, all summer she was really mean to Hermione. I mean, she used to talk about her mother all the time, how wonderful she was, and all that. Both her parents. But she came back this year, and it was different. She seldom talked about home at all. We finally dragged it out of her. Her mother was totally distant, not paying attention, blowing her off. They were really close. But something happened, and her mother just totally ignored her. Like she wasn't her daughter anymore. Hermione did not take it well."  
  
"Yeah" added Parvati. "She cries all the time. We've tried everything to cheer her up. Nothing works. She writes to her mother, but never got anything back. She's a mess."  
  
Harry sighed. "We gotta talk to her." They both stood up.  
  
"Uh, no I wouldn't. She's, uh, very defensive. Threw the glass water pitcher at us when we asked."  
  
"We have to try."  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Hermione frantically scribbled in her diary, as if she would forget if she didn't right that fast.  
  
Like she could ever forget.  
  
The door opened.   
  
"Hermi, you okay?" came Ron's voice. He was obstructed from view by her curtain.  
  
She wiped her face. "Yeah. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? Just finishing some work."  
  
"Sure" came Harry's voice.  
  
Her friends walked over and drew the curtain. She quickly threw the diary under the bed. She smiled, but knew her red, puffy eyes gave it away.  
  
"What's wrong?" they asked, sitting on either side of her.  
  
"I'm fine, nothing's wrong!"  
  
Harry and Ron looked at each other. The girls were right. She was getting defensive.  
  
"Hermione, look at me" said Harry, holding her chin in his hands. "Something is wrong. You're our friend, we can always tell. Now fess up."  
  
She pulled away from him.  
  
"Nothing is wrong! Don't you get it! For once, why don't you two just leave me alone! Leave me alone!"  
  
Harry and Ron bowed their heads. Those three words hit them like daggers.  
  
"Fine" said Harry. "Hermione, you're our best friend. There is someth-"  
  
"There's nothing wrong!"  
  
"Yes!" said Ron, now getting frustrated. "There is! We can't help you if you yell at us like that!"  
  
Hermione fought back the tears and looked at her best friends. She could tell that she had hurt them when she told them to go away. They weren't as easy to dissuade as Lavender and Parvati were.  
  
She sat down on the edge of the bed, and tears rushed down her red face.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, it's just... I don't... I-"  
  
Harry pulled her up between them. "It's okay Herm. Stop crying. Tell us what happened."  
  
Between sobs, Hermione told Ron and Harry everything that Lavender and Parvati had told them, except with more detail.  
  
"She didn't even come to pick me up from Kings Cross. And she ignored me, locking herself in her office. Never spoke to me, unless she need to! It was like she forgot I was there..."  
  
She cried there with them for a good half an hour.  
  
"Listen Hermione, there had to be a reason. Your mom loves you."  
  
"But she totally ignored me... brushed me off... won't answer my letters... Why? Why is she doing this to me? Why? What did I do?"  
  
"You did nothing, Herm." Said Ron. "You have the top grades in our year, popular, beautiful, do your best at everything, what else could your mother want?"  
  
Hermione shook her head. "I don't know..."  
  
"She okay?" asked Lavender as Harry and Ron rejoined them in the common room. "You were in there for nearly an hour."  
  
"She fell asleep. She okay, for now." Said Ron. "But why the hell would Hermione's mother ignore her like that?"  
  
"It just doesn't make sense. I've met her, she seems very nice. Just like Hermione used to describe her. Wonderful. I don't get it."  
  
Suddenly a large owl swooped in through the open window (Permanently open for owls, but the heat is kept in with a spell). It flew up towards the girls' dormitory and began to tap on the door.  
  
"It'll wake her up." Said Harry, and went up to retrieve the letter. Sure enough, it was addressed to Hermione. He had to wrestle the large owl for it, but finally the animal gave it up.  
  
"It's from her father" said harry, reading the return address.  
  
"Are you going to read it?" asked Lavender. She had no problem with it, since she and Parvati actively participated in the gossip throughout the school.  
  
"I dunno, Harry, I mean it's hers" said Ron.  
  
"But it could help us figure out what's happening."  
  
He slit open the envelope and began to read.  
  
"Oh my God." He said, dropping the letter.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hermione's mother... has cancer. She's in the hospital. He father is sending for her."  
  
"What?" asked Ron, picking up the letter and reading it. "Oh man... she's in critical condition."  
  
"Hey you guys, do you think..." started Parvati. "Maybe her mother was trying to protect her. Maybe she knew about the cancer all summer, and didn't want Hermione to know. Maybe she thought if she distanced herself... it wouldn't hurt as much, it wouldn't hurt Hermione if she wasn't as close to her mother as she used to be."  
  
"Oh my God... we have to tell her."   
  
"Whoah... you guys can... she nearly broke glass over my head last time I tried to help." Said Parvati.  
  
"Fine." Said Harry. "But I don't think this can wait. We have to tell her now."  
  
They both, reluctantly, ascended the stairs.  
  
"Herm, Hermi... wake up!" they shook her gently.  
  
"What... is it dinner time?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes.  
  
"Uh, Hermione... we have to tell you something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We think we know why your mother was avoiding you."  
  
He held up the letter. She looked puzzled but stood up and took it. Her eyes scanned the page. They watched as the color drained immediately from her face.  
  
"No, No... not that..." her hand went to her mouth, but she swayed, and Ron caught her, as she fell in a dead faint.  
  
"Do you think we can get her to the hospital wing?"  
  
"Not by carrying her." Harry conjured up a stretcher, and they floated her down.  
  
"What happened?" everyone asked as they brought her down the stairs.  
  
"She's okay, she just fainted."  
  
Lavender and Parvati came up to them. "She didn't take it well, I gather?" Lavender said.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Ron take her to the hospital wing. I'm going to go see Dumbledore."  
  
His friend nodded and they parted ways.  
  
********************************************************************************  
"What happened?" asked Dumbledore as Harry entered the office.  
  
"Hermione fainted. Her Mother has cancer."  
  
"Yes, I knew about her Mother, I received an owl. Is she okay?"  
  
"Not really. Her father wants her to go back, but I don't think she'll want to?"  
  
Dumbledore looked surprised. "She doesn't want to see her mother?"  
  
Harry shook his head. He explained the whole thing.  
  
"Oh, dear" Dumbledore sighed. "Well, she has to go, there's no doubt. But I do not think it would be good for her to go alone. I want either you or Ron to go with her. Preferably you."  
  
"Why?" Harry was puzzled. Why him over Ron?  
  
"Just- because. I'll arrange for you two to leave tomorrow."  
  
Harry nodded and left the office, making his way down to the Hospital Wing.  
  
"Is she awake yet?" he asked Ron.   
  
"No, but madam Pomfrey's going to wake her. She wanted to wait 'till you got here. What did Dumbledore say?"  
  
"He knew about the cancer... but I had to explain to him why Hermione probably wouldn't want to go. He wants one of us to go. He said he'd rather have me go, though."  
  
"Just as well. You can probably help her deal better. You know, the whole parent thing."  
  
"Potter, Weasley! I'm waking her."  
  
They walked over to the bed. Madam Pomfrey gave Hermione a potion then said,  
  
"I will leave you three to speak and then will come to check her."  
  
Hermione was coming around.  
  
"Where..."  
  
"You're in the hospital wing, Hermi." Said Harry.  
  
She sat up and they both gave her hugs.  
  
She sat in silence for a moment then said, "It's real isn't it?" seeing the solemn look on their faces. "It feels like a dream, but I know I really read that letter." Tears ran down her cheek. "My mother's going to die... My mother's going to die...My mother's going to die..."  
  
"Come on Hermi, stop crying. Harry's going to take you to see her tomorrow. You'll see her, don't worry." He brushed the tears from her cheek.  
  
"I don't want to see her!" she yelled. The tears came again. "Is that wrong? Is that so wrong? My mother's dying and I don't even want to see her..."  
  
"Hermione, she hurt you. But she was trying to protect you. She thought if she could distance herself, and then it wouldn't hurt you so much, because you wouldn't be so close. You may think that you don't want to see her... but believe me..." Harry paused. "You don't want her... to go away. Or at least not before you can say goodbye. So you're going to go and see her. Believe me, you'll thank me. But you're going to go. Okay?"  
  
Hermione dried her eyes. "Okay, I'll try, but not alone. One of you has to be there... you can't leave me..."  
  
"We wont," said Ron. "Let Madam Pomfrey check you over, then we'll take you to the common room, and well sit in front of the fire, okay?"  
  
She nodded, and Madam Pomfrey checked her over.  
  
"Look like you can go. You're lucky Ron caught you. Get lots of rest, and you should be fine." She smiled, and Hermione tried to smile back at her.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
The trio sat in front of the fire in the common room the rest of the evening. They sat and talked all evening, occasionally laughing, sometimes crying. They roasted marshmallow in the fireplace and sipped hot chocolate. Finally, Hermione fell asleep leaning against Ron.  
  
"I'll take her up." Said Harry. He picked her up and carried her up to her dormitory. He lay her gently on the bed, and tucked her under the quilt, pulling off her shoes.  
  
"Goodnight, Hermi" he whispered, kissing her gently on the forehead.  
  
"Goodnight" she whispered back in her half sleep.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
I can't do this Harry, I can't, and I can't. Please don't make me go into that hospital."  
  
"Come on Hermi. You can do this."  
  
She shook her head.  
  
"Look at me" he said, cupping her chin in his hand, and wiping away her solitary tear. "Your mother loves you. And I know you want to see her, deep inside. You have a chance Hermione. You know... you can say goodbye, and tell her you love her, know she's okay. I never got that, Hermi. I never got that. I never knew. I was lied to all my life. Don't make a mistake." He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. "You and I are going to in there, and you're going to go in a see your mother."  
  
Hermione looked into his dazzling green eyes. There was something there. Regret. Regret over something he never could have controlled. And Sincerity. He didn't want her to let her mother die without saying goodbye. "Okay. I'll try."  
  
She gripped his hand as they entered the hospital and approached the desk. "Christina Granger, please." said Harry.  
  
"Fourth floor, room 407." Said the clerk, smiling at them.  
  
They rode the elevator to the fourth floor. Room 407 was just down the hallway.  
  
They walked down the hall, Hermione gripping Harry's hand like a vice. Hermione's father was standing right outside the door.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Granger" said Harry.  
  
"Hello Harry." he said, smiling weakly.  
  
"Daddy..." said Hermione, falling into his arms, but still not letting go of Harry's hand.  
  
"Princess..." he said. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner..."  
  
"Is she okay?" asked Hermione.  
  
Her father bowed his head. "She's, uh... pretty bad. The doctor said... any minute... but they can't say. She's been asking for you..."  
  
Hermione looked horrified, but she did not cry. Instead, she let Harry pull her into the room.  
  
The room itself was frightening. Machines, tubes, monitors... and the large bed. Mrs. Granger looked frail, sickly. There were moose prongs to help her breath, and IVs attached to her. She smiled at them as they entered, though she was obviously in pain.  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Granger." Said Harry, giving her a smile. "It's nice to see you again."  
  
She nodded. "Nice to see you too." she said, with a little difficulty.  
  
"Mommy..." said Hermione, walking to the bed and gripping her mother's hand with her free one.  
  
"Princess..." her mother said, bringing her hand up to her daughter's cheek. "I'm sorry... I never went to hurt you..." She inhaled deeply. She was having trouble breathing.  
  
"Never" she said, breathing heavily, "let them put tubes in me. I don't want it... I'm sick of hospitals..."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "I don't want you to die... you won't be there... for graduation, my wedding..." Tears ran once more.  
  
"I will always be there, in your heart." She began to cough. "I love you..."  
  
She turned her eyes up to Harry. "Take good care of my little girl."  
  
"You know I will." He said reassuringly.  
  
"Thank you." She closed her eyes. "You know where, Hermione..." Her voice was quiet, barely audible.  
  
"No! It won't come to that! It isn't going to come to that..."  
  
"You know it is. Now. I can't..." She began to gasp for air. "You... know... where..."  
  
He eyelids fell closed, and she gasped once more. "You know... where, Hermi... take me there..." she took on last gasp of air, and then relaxed. Her body went limp.  
  
"Mom? Mom? No..."  
  
The sound of the heart machine filled the room. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...  
  
"No... No... she can't be dead, she isn't... I know she can't... No..."  
  
Harry pulled her into her arms and let her weep.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" her father asked solemnly.  
  
She nodded. "This is something I have to do alone, daddy."  
  
"Okay, Harry, will you at least go with her, make sure-"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
"Are you okay, Hermione?"  
  
"Yes... no, but I will be. Thank you. For making me go see..."  
  
He smiled. "I told you you'd see." He kissed her. "Go."  
  
He stood watching from the dirt road. Hermione walked onto the grass plateau. It was even more beautiful than she'd described it. Luscious green grass was dotted with patches of wild flowers, and the plateau ended at a cliff. Two hundred feet below, the ocean waves crashed against the rocks.  
  
Hermione walked to the very edge of the plateau. Her dress billowed in the wind. In a soft voice, she began to sing:  
  
"Good gifts of Love  
Good gifts you hand me down  
From your first touch  
To my wedding gown  
  
Do you even know  
What you've given me  
Do you even see  
That you are wisdom  
You are wisdom to me  
  
My song, my soul  
You gave so easily  
I'll not forget  
These gifts to me  
  
We say goodbye  
But we are not alone  
Here with me still  
My heart, my home  
  
Do you even know  
What you've given me  
Do you even see  
That you are wisdom  
You are wisdom to me  
  
My song, my soul  
You gave so easily  
I'll not forget  
These gifts to me  
  
I'll not forget  
These gifts to me..."  
  
She dumped the ashes over the edge, and watched them plummet, to the waves below. Harry came up behind her, and dropped a wild daisy over the edge.  
  
"Goodbye, mommy..." she whispered as Harry led her away.  
  
Okay, I almost cried writing that. Sad, huh? The Song is Good Gifts by Melanie Doane. I wanted to write a songfic, so I looked through all my CDs, and found this, so my muse cooked somethin' up in that head of mine. Well, I hope you liked it!  
  
Please review.  
  
~Danie  
  
  



End file.
